


Oh, Behave!

by gritsinmisery



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-27
Updated: 2010-01-27
Packaged: 2017-10-06 18:12:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gritsinmisery/pseuds/gritsinmisery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would the last two Time Lords do after dinner?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Behave!

**Author's Note:**

> Post-S3 AU where the Doctor's carting the Master around in his TARDIS.
> 
> Another Damned Dialogue Fic. I do that. A lot.
> 
> Borrows **x_los**'s contention that the Doctor's mum's name is Verity. Yes, as in [Verity Lambert](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0483324/).

Oh, Behave!

“Now, we’ve had a capital supper and it’s time for some entertainment.  What shall we do?  How ‘bout charades?”

…(crickets)…  
   
“No, you’re right, last time we tried that you refused to give any clues, and you guessed every one of mine as ‘something-or-other, destroying the Earth on Christmas Eve.’  Not a raging success, that.  I know!  Karaoke!”

“Absolutely not!  You only sing dusty nonsense like ‘It’s a Long Way to Tipperary’ and ‘A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square.’  Besides, there’s not a lick of Scissor Sisters on that Omega-cursed machine.”

“Spoil-sport.  All-righty then, you’re not feeling participatory this evening.  We’ll just watch a film.  Oh, I know just the thing!  Just a minute, where did I put it… Ah-hah!   Perfect.  You’ll love this – it’s almost like they knew you had been on the planet.  I’ll just get some popcorn, then we’ll settle in, all cozy-like.”

“Cozy?  I don’t do cozy.  I am the antithesis of cozy.  And anyway, isn’t that just like domestic?”

“Nonsense.  Domestic is all togetherness, and sharing, and…  Never mind.  This isn’t domestic.  It’s not.  Just a tic; the popcorn’s almost done.”

“So, what is this must-see paragon of _cinéma vérité_ that you are forcing down my throat?”

“Whut?  My mum didn’t have anything to do with this…”

“Vérité, not Verity!  Rassilon, don’t be dense.  Or worse yet, pretend to be dense in order to get out of answering the question.  That ploy hasn’t worked on me since two days after they threw us together at the Academy.  Not that you let that fact keep you from using it repeatedly over the last millennum…”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, that would be it exactly.  And I won’t be distracted; what is the title of the film?”

“Erm…  Just watch.”

“Dear Rassilon, those costumes look just like the ones from the time you spent grounded on Earth.  _Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery_?  Oh, that’s it.  I’m going to bed.”

“You should stick around for the sequel – you get a clone!”


End file.
